Failure is a big deal

I am failing. Miserably, without any hopes, without any needs.

The first time I failed was as a daughter, then in my career.

I tried. To heal, to grow, to be better.

I tried. To maintain my relationships, friendships, and acquaintances. I saw people taking the first out they got.

I tried. To give one last try at making things right and better.

I tried. To be the daughter that they could be proud of. To be the friend with whom they could have fun.

I tried. I tried. I tried.

And

I failed. I failed. I failed.

At everything. Every time.

And I never knew it was a big deal until I lost the place, the respect, the love I had in my dad’s heart for me.

And now, all I can hear is “Die” and it keeps ringing again and again, giving me the hope, need, love, respect, and everything that I had lost once.

A lot of people have made my life colourful. Cheers to them! Thank you. It was great.